So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
