Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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