I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
