The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize