Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I intend to get homeless drunk
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
