I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
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It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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