ugly people sure do ruin things
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
