That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
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Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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