do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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