For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
