Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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