dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
