I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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