That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
as a side note pls kill me
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
