Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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