Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
