I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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