you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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