I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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