All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Do vagina's smell?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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