im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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