I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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