You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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