My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Can Purell be used as lube?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
