why didn't you poke me back
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
