why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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