If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
