Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
