Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
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I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
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how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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