i can't believe i had my finger in that
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
