Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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