There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
