Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.