yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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