college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
