i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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