FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
