You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
