but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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