i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
