Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
