To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
