I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
