If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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