This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize