My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
