Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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