My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
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