Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
