I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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