Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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