My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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