At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
what day is it and did you see me today?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
