Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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