It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
